Inside Out
by xfmoon
Summary: A little Fitz introspection right after he gets out of the Framework. Tag to 4x20.


**A/N:** A little Fitz introspection right after he gets out of the Framework.

 **Spoilers:** For episode 4x20 Farewell, Cruel World!

 **Disclaimer:** Good or evil I don't own the rights to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

His mind was hazy, but it was clear enough to know what had happened.

And that realisation was an enormous kick to the stomach. What had he done? He had killed people and he had enjoyed it. He had to be evil. An evil person, there was no other explanation. He buckled in on himself, sunk down, couldn't catch his breath. How would he ever be able to face himself again, he had been moments away from killing the woman he loved.

Radcliffe had told him it wasn't his fault that it was all on him, and then Fitz had been thrown overboard like a rat. Falling and falling, with no one to catch him, until eventually getting caught by reality.

But that was all a lie. Of course he was at fault.

Coulson tried to comfort him, echoing Radcliffe's declaration, that none of it was his fault, and that he was not a bad person.

He couldn't believe it. Any of it.

He was responsible. He had ordered the airstrike that had killed Mace.

Because of him Mack was still trapped in there, lured in by the promises of the false reality.

He had ordered the torture of innocent inhumans, given they weren't really real, a bunch of ones and zeroes, but this torture had included Daisy. His friend. A real person.

Then there was Agnes. He had shot her in cold blood. Never even flinching. That poor innocent woman didn't even know she was dead and in the Framework.

Worst of all he had shot Jemma to get her to kneel before him and his ego power trip self, and then he had almost killed her. He felt so ashamed…now.

He was a monster. No better than any of the threats they had faced. Worse actually, since he had claimed to love her, and then betrayed her. The hurt look on her face was etched deep into his mind. How could she ever forgive him for this? He had always thought that he didn't deserve her, and this just confirmed his doubts.

He barely had time to think a coherent thought when he saw her, Ophelia. They all did. She wasn't a robot anymore, she was real. It had worked. His worlds blurred into a mix. He was so confused, he felt like he had spent a lifetime to achieve this goal, and here it was, his accomplishment. He felt compelled to go to her, to touch her. Flashes of Jemma intruded, but he pushed them down. He had loved them both so fiercely. Spend a lifetime with each one of them. Protected them both, until he couldn't. Until they were ripped away from him.

Ophelia was a real person now, he was her creator, her Victor Frankenstein. So in a twisted way she belonged to him. And right then he didn't think he would ever come to deserve Jemma's love again, but Ophelia was his, so on shaky legs he went to her. She felt as real as any other person. And so his possessiveness evaporated, it wasn't right to own another human even if she technically was his invention.

The others were yelling for him to be careful. But he was lost in the beauty of creation. In the intoxicating exhilaration of power.

He was enthralled and didn't see the danger. Couldn't fathom something so profound could be a threat. Until she, without warning, embraced him and they both disappeared.

In that moment he knew it had all been a big mistake, a huge miscalculation on his part, but by then it was too late...

He would never see Jemma again.

* * *

 **A/N:** Didn't think I would make it but looks like I got it up just in time for a new episode. *excited and scared* as always. Good luck tonight FitzSimmons shippers :)

I honestly didn't think I was going to write anything for this epi. but I was about to fall asleep at work for two days straight, and so writing this kept me awake, and made it look like I was working at the same time. Move over inspiration, exhaustion is in town, and boy can it write.

Also was I the only one that thought it was weird that Fitz mentioned all the bad things he had done in the Framework, but not a word about Jemma?


End file.
